NICHE-FILLING BMW TO RELEASE FIVE-EIGHTHS TON PICKUP?

WILL BMW BUILD THIS FIVE-EIGHTHS TON PICKUP?

BMW, known for identifying and exploiting underserved vehicle markets, today confirmed a rumor that it will slip a five-eighths ton pickup truck into its seemingly full lineup next year.  A spy photograph of what appears to be a test mule popped up on BMW internet forums last week.  

While the company declined to release much information about the vehicle, an anonymous BMW insider claimed the hybrid truck will be equipped with a 55-horsepower electric motor paired with a twin-turbocharged 4.4 liter V-8, allowing the truck to travel approximately 270 feet using only the electric motor.  The source also said the vehicle will be named the T445iXDriveActiveHybridPritischenwagen, or "Prit" for short.  

BMW design head Horst "Lou" Pferdestärke claims such a truck makes sense, saying, "We need a pickup in our lineup, and sometimes a half-ton is too small and a three-quarter ton is too large.  We're even studying the feasibility of an eleven-sixteenths ton truck."     

Pferdestärke reacted angrily when a reporter pointed out that the vehicle shown in the photograph featured the renowned "Hofmeister kink" design feature.  "No!  I designed this.  It is not the same.  It is a "Pferdestärke kink!" he shouted as he stomped out of the room.