ASTRONAUT TAKES BOTH SETS OF CAR KEYS INTO SPACE; WIFE PISSED

"FORTUNATELY, THE BUS SYSTEM WHERE WE LIVE IS PRETTY GOOD"

Soon-to-be-divorced astronaut Beeker Pugg

Astronaut Beeker Pugg, who is serving
aboard the International Space Station,
 holds up his and his wife's car keys 

Astronaut Beeker Pugg arrived last week at what will be his new home for the next year--the International Space Station.  Unfortunately, Pugg apparently forgot to check his pockets before leaving home and inadvertently took both sets of car keys into space with him.  

"My wife called and was like, 'Have you seen the keys to the car?'  She was foaming at the mouth she was so pissed," said Pugg.  "Fortunately, the bus stop is close by."  

Angry Astronaut's Wife
Chantix Pugg

"F***ing buttmunch space scum," barked Pugg's 34-year-old wife Chantix.  "What am I supposed to do, walk to work for the next year? I hope his f***ing space suit rips."