EIGHT THINGS THE MASERATI GHIBLI AND COCO 9500R BIDET HAVE IN COMMON

Heated seating:  The Maserati Ghibli seats four while the Coco 9500R bidet only accommodates one (which most people feel is appropriate anyway).  

Manual shifting:  The Maserati’s automated manual gearbox features steering-wheel mounted shift paddles.  The Coco has no paddles, and shifting while sitting on it just makes the seat creak.  

Ventilation Fans:  The Ghibli’s airflow can be directed at the windshield, face or feet, while the bidet’s fan blows...um...from underneath.  As with real estate, it’s all about location, location, location. 

Plumbing:  Admittedly, the 250-degree liquid coursing through the Ghibli’s piping is much hotter than that dispensed by the Coco.  Remember, the goal when using a bidet is cleanliness, not pasteurization.  

Dual Exhaust:  The Ghibli’s twin satin-finished pipes poke out from under each side of the rear bumper.  Very sporty.  The Coco’s dual nozzles aren’t chromed, nor do they look especially sporty, but they do oscillate as they squirt.   

Passionate Owners:  Maserati owners shun other exotic cars.  Likewise, Coco

owners often refuse to use any other “facilities,” and instead, elect to drive long distances at near NASCAR speeds to reach home and their cherished 9500R.

Sporty Names:  Ghibli is named after a hot North African wind while Coco sounds like your neighbor’s dachshund’s name.  But 9500R evokes adventure; just like Elantra GT does.   

High Price:  The 2014 Maserati Ghibli starts at just over $65,000. The 9500R can be had for $369; expensive for a toilet seat, but you won't have to license and insure it.    

THE LAST WORD:

 You’d look totally cool sitting behind the wheel of the Maserati; sitting on the Coco 9500R, perhaps not so much.