ROLLS-ROYCE ACKNOWLEDGES THAT SPIRIT OF ECSTASY'S WEIGHT "OUT OF CONTROL"

2013 Spirit of Ecstasy

After months of silence, Rolls-Royce admitted today that the company's famed Spirit of Ecstasy hood ornament has a weight problem. 

 "Yes, well, she has chuffed up a bit, hasn't she?" acknowledged Rolls spokesman Quillan Bagley.  Parent company BMW has reportedly given Rolls a strict order to place the SofE on a diet.  "She has gained about 90 grams," said stern BMW Engineering Director Bamber Übergewicht, "This makes the car less, how do you say, aerodynamische," he added.

2015: "She has chuffed up a bit,"
admits Rolls-Royce

Increased drag isn't the only negative consequence of the weight gain, however.  Some customers complain that the corpulent sterling silver Spirit whistles at highway speeds and is too large to retract into the car's expensive, handmade radiator shroud when the ignition is turned off. "It's also quite difficult to see around her while you're driving," said  distressed Wraith owner Cord de Borasco.