VW CREATES GOFUNDME SITE TO HELP PAY EPA FINES

Just days after news broke of the Volkswagen diesel emissions test scandal, the automaker quietly set up its own GoFundMe crowdfunding page to help it pay EPA fines that could reach $18-billion.  


"This is a difficult time, but we are blessed to still have customers who believe in Volkswagen," said spokesman 
Kuhlbert Schnipps.  

According to VW's GoFundMe site, they're blessed to have exactly two customers left, Howard "Howdy" Mussel and his wife Canola.  Ardent Volkswagen fans, the Mussels yesterday donated $143, leaving VW with an unfunded amount of $17,999,999,857.  

"We bought a brand new VW Squareback in '73 and drove it until it was consumed by fire last year," said Howdy.  "We loved it, especially before it caught fire." The couple, who no longer drive, buried the Squareback's remains in their Agapanthus garden alongside Putz, their late, beloved Rock Cornish Game Hen.    

RELATED NEWS:  WHAT WILL MARTIN WINTERKORN DO NEXT?  

Forced to resign, the former Volkswagen CEO told Parksplug "Ich möchte um sich zu entspannen," whatever that means.  However, we do know that he plans to rejoin the family singing group The Winterkorns, whose hit Mond über dem Biergarten (Moon Over the Beer Garden) hit #5 on Germany's Wilhelmboard Top 100 back in 1973.