A BUNCH OF DIRT AND AN OLD SUBARU IS ALL THAT'S LEFT AFTER ENTIRE STATE OF OREGON FLEES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

STATE LEAVES NOTE SAYING IT "CAN'T TAKE LIVING ABOVE CALIFORNIA ANYMORE" 

All that remains:  Large patch of dirt
and '79 Subaru (not visible)

The entire state of Oregon disappeared sometime during the early morning hours yesterday, leaving behind nothing but 98,000 square miles of dirt and a 1979  Subaru Brat.  

While Oregon's current whereabouts are unknown, Kentucky wasted no time in expressing interest in moving to the newly vacant site between California and Washington state.  "We can get along with 'pert near anybody," said Kentucky Land Office Director Goby Lee Harkiss.  

Those interested in purchasing the Subaru should call the U.S. Department of the Interior at (202) 208-3801 and ask for Mary Lee Penhalligan.