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| A Free-Range Rover shares a pasture with free-range cows |
Land Rover announced today that, beginning with 2016 models, Range Rover will become Free-Range Rover. And it's not just a name change--the "free-range" designation requires that vehicles be allowed to roam outside at least part of the time.
Range Rover owner, beekeeper and freelance colon hydrotherapist Temple Corpel-Klotz applauded the move. "People spend $100-thousand on an SUV and they think they're protecting it by locking it up inside a garage, but in reality, these are utility vehicles, and they really should be allowed to roam freely outside," said Corpel-Klotz.
LandRoverFreeRangeRoverJaguar spokesman Titus Bone said the company has already begun dismantling dealership showrooms. "We're adding grasslands and other natural settings to all our dealerships."
The company's announcement was met with scorn from Lexus spokesman Gusley Notz. "You're kidding me, right? What's next? Are they going to claim their vehicles are sugar-free and all-natural?" asked Notz, who conceded that his company's LX model competes with Free-Range Rover.
Asked to respond, Free-Range Rover spokesman Bone acknowledged that, while their SUVs do not contain sugar, they're not all-natural. "We do add artificial color," he said.
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