THE LATEST BREAKING, UNFOUNDED, UNSUBSTANTIATED AUTOMOTIVE NEWS
DO BREATHE RIGHT'S NEW GRILLE STRIPS WORK BETTER THAN EXPENSIVE AFTERMARKET AIR FILTERS?
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| This older BMW 745i gained eight horsepower after installation of Breathe Right Steer Cleer grille strip |
Breathe Right nose strips help millions of people sleep better by opening nasal passages. Now the company is focusing on improved engine breathing with its new Breathe Right Steer Cleer grille strips.
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| Breathe Right spokesperson Apostrophe Squitt inhales deeply to demonstrate the effectiveness of the company's nose strips |
"Wind resistance pushes grille shutters closed, blocking airflow," explained Breathe Right spokeswoman Apostrophe Squitt. "The flexible Steer Cleer strip gently pulls on the vanes, keeping them open." Squitt said that while the strips are presently available only in tan, they can be painted to match any vehicle color. We forgot to ask if they work better
than expensive aftermarket air filters.
IS MERCURY ABOUT TO MAKE A COMEBACK?
Ford not commenting on spy photo that reportedly shows upcoming Park Lane sedan
cribbed from Ford Fusion
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| Roof design of possible 2017 Mercury Park Lane pays homage to mid 60's Mercurys |
IS THE F-150 RAPTOR BEING REPLACED BY THE MRAPtor?
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| Sent to us anonymously, this picture appears to be a dubious mixture of impressionism, realism and a dash of fauvism. The vehicle shown selfishly dominates the harsh yet delicate surrounding landscape, and motion is poorly conveyed through the attempted use of diaphanous layers of sand. Needs work, but you're on the right track--see me after class. Bring your easel. |
The adjacent picture, purportedly showing Ford's MRAPtor off-road, military-inspired truck, was secretly slipped under our door by an anonymous person sometime last night. The fact that it was the bathroom door made the deed all the more intriguing.
We have no more information about the MRAPtor. If you have details, our bathroom door is always closed.
WHY DO WE KEEP ASKING RHETORICAL QUESTIONS?
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