FROM NOW ON, HORSEPOWER AND TORQUE WILL BE THE SAME THING

AUTOMOTIVE ENGINEERS SAY THEY'VE "HAD IT UP TO HERE" WITH TRYING TO EXPLAIN THE DIFFERENCE TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC 

After listening to an detailed explanation,
24-year-old Abbott Woosley tries to grasp the
difference between horsepower and torque.
"This is a typical response," says engineer
Aroma Sue Crouch, "which illustrates
why we need to revise the terminology."  

"We've explained and explained until we're blue in the face.  We give up," said exasperated engineer Aroma Sue Crouch.  

This pervasive confusion has led the National Clan of Automotive Engineers (NCAE) to declare that horsepower and torque are one and the same. 

"Basically, people are blockheads. They just don't get it," said a frustrated Crouch. "Hopefully, this will simplify things."

The change, which takes effect tomorrow at 9:00am Eastern Standard Time, will replace the terms horsepower and torque with the single label, horque.

As an example, the Ford Power Stroke diesel V-8 was previously rated at 440 horsepower and 860 pound feet of torque. Those numbers are added together and divided by two, and as a result, the engine receives a new rating of 650 horque.  

Ford immediately released a statement claiming top honors in the diesel pickup horque wars, although Ram countered that, while their truck has only "625 horques," it carries more payload than the Ford.  GM said they were too busy managing recalls to respond.