LOTUS THREATENS TO SUE OVER EBOLA NAME

Lotus cars is threatening to sue somebody, alleging misuse of the Ebola name for which they claim to hold a copyright.  "Our previous models include the Evora, Elise, Exige and Esprit, and we wanted the Ebola name for our new one, so we copyrighted it,"  explained Lotus spokesman Tully Cornockle.  "But somebody--maybe the Centers for Disease Control--has hijacked our name, and as soon as we figure out who--or is it whom?--we're gonna sue, I'll tell you that."  

An unnamed employee sent along this photo of
the upcoming Lotus Ebola.  The big pink thing
is the imbecile's index finger
  

Lotus is being characteristically tight-lipped about the Ebola, describing it only as an ultra-lightweight roadster with a body made of pickled and steamed bamboo and a Toyota-sourced polyester fiber engine block.  

A photograph of the car taken by an anonymous and bumbling Lotus insider fails to shed much light on the design. The source did reveal that Lotus engineers are trying to overcome the Ebola's cooling problems. "It runs hot all the time," he disclosed.