OLD BEETLE NEVER DID FLOAT -- VOLKSWAGEN LIED TO US ABOUT THAT, TOO

Volkswagen officials admitted today that early Volkswagen Beetles never could float as claimed in a series of 1960's television commercials. 

"On behalf of our company, ja, I would like to offer yet another sincere apology, this time for claiming that der Type 1 Volkswagen was so airtight it could schwimmer...uh, float," said VW spokesman Mannheim Schteamvoller. "It was not true. Instead of float, it would go--how do you say it?--unterwasser."  

Es schwebt nicht

Over the past month, Volkswagen has also apologized for:  

-Using rigged software to cheat on diesel emissions tests 

-Misappropriating emaciated runway model Bentley Bentayga's name for use on a new SUV

-Claiming Fahrvergnügen meant "driving enjoyment" when it actually means "Bite the wax tadpole"